What is a sponsor in OA?

Sponsors are OA members who are living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability. They are willing to share their recovery with other members of the Fellowship and are committed to abstinence. Ask a member who has what you want from the program and how he or she is achieving it.

A sponsor might be someone a lot like you or they might be someone very different, someone you never would have considered getting to know had it not been for OA. Many things change as a result of working the OA program. It may be that you find you are interested in different kinds of people to those you are used to spending time with. A sponsor can introduce us to all kinds of ideas and experiences we have never considered before. This is part of them sharing their experience, strength and hope with us.

15 Characteristics of Effective Sponsors

1. Abstinent: The sponsor is abstinent, and abstinence is the most important thing in their life.
2. Available: A good sponsor has the time to spend talking with the sponsee. They are available when needed for an emergency. They are available for personal contact in addition to the telephone.
3. Committed: The most effective sponsors are committed to program, sponsoring, and trying to pass on the message of recovery to others.
4. In recovery: The sponsor lives in recovery on all three levels – physical, emotional, and spiritual. They “walk the walk” as well as “talk the talk.”
5. Program foundation: They have a strong foundation in program Principles, the Steps, Traditions, Tools, and particularly the Big Book.
6. Twelve Step-based: The sponsor has knowledge and experience in working the Steps. They try to apply the Steps to everyday living.
7. Focused: The sponsor keeps the phone call with the sponsee focused on the Steps and program rather than social things.
8. Good listener: Effective sponsors are good listeners.
9. Clear expectations: From the beginning, the best sponsors set out clear expectations, limits, and goals for the sponsor/sponsee relationship.
10. Shares experience only: Truly effective sponsors know their limits. They do not play God, therapist, counselor, or social worker. They share their program experience only.

11. Humility: Good sponsors know when to say, “I don’t know,” “I have no experience,” or “Perhaps this is a situation where you might need some help outside the Twelve Step rooms.” They do not allow themselves to be put on a pedestal.
12. Honesty: The best sponsors are rigorously honest – both about themselves and with the sponsee. They do not enable. Their approach tends to be compassionate tough love.
13. Supports and encourages: Effective sponsors help sponsees to grow, learn to do new things, take risks, and learn from their mistakes.
14. Attitude: Good sponsors demonstrate compassion, empathy, patience, a sense of humor, and a positive attitude about life.
15. Knows when to let go: Good sponsors know when and how to detach with love and “let go” of sponsees when it becomes appropriate.

Reprinted from "A Sponsor's Toolbox" © 2020 Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. All rights reserved.

How do I find a sponsor?

In face-to-face OA groups, members can often find a sponsor at a meeting. In online groups like 12Steps4COEs, you may find that reading what someone else shares resonates with you, and you may decide to ask that person if they are accepting sponsees. If they say no, it's fine. They may have as many sponsees as they can handle already. Just keep looking and you will find someone who has what you want,

We also have a sponsors list which you can request by mailing sponsors@12steps4coes.org and explaining who you are and which is your regular meeting. This is a manually handled process, so it takes time and we may contact you back to make sure you're a real person.